Dr's , Dr's & more Dr's

I am off work today and all I feel like is "to be lazy". I feel so exhausted and tired, although I haven't done very much. Gary and I both got up this morning, I made his breakfast and lunch, although I felt like collapsing on the floor while doing it. Kissed him goodbye, then promptly went back to bed. My body must have needed rest because I didn't wake up till @10:30am. I didn't sleep very well the night before. I never could get comfortable, whether I was on my side or my back. I was burning up the whole night, (not a fever-just temp wise, it seemed so hot upstairs), and I had a slight headache.
Ever since the middle of last week my left arm has been hurting. Hurting like I did 10,000 reps with the 5lb weight barbells, on that arm alone kind of hurt. The right arm is fine. I thought it might be because I carry my purse, my lunch to work and whatever else on that arm, like I am used to. I thought if I use my right arm instead....the left would have a chance to rest. But no, the feeling it still there. I know this feeling is caused a lot due to my MS. I need to pull out those exercise sheets that "Renee" at StoneCrest gave me and see what they list for arm exercises. The words keep playing over in my head....."if you don't use it-you'll lose it". I was looking up on the Internet arm weakness with MS last night, and as I was reading that I got to thinking, will this get worse, will I have to go back to therapy, will I eventually have to use the aid of a cane or walker( like in the video I saw on the web last night..) and also my mind was thinking how much my medical bills are piling up, and since this is a new year we have to meet the deductible on the insurance. And every new thing that comes up...there's another Dr. for that.
The last time I was at Southern Hills I went to see Dr. Bishop about my right ankle that has been bothering me for god knows how long. Again I had to repeat the story about how I went to see Dr. Berger in Bruceton, how he just gave me an ACE bandage and sent me on my way.....Dr Bishop referred me to a Dr. West in that same complex. And when he looked at it he was taken back by how long i had put up with this and after looking at the X-rays he told me that I had a heel spur on the bottom of my right foot. Plus there was some kind of a white mass in the area where the bottom of my leg meets the top of my foot. He said I could have some ligaments/tendons broken, torn or damaged. And I needed to do an MRI just to see exactly what was going on in there. He asked if i played a lot of sports, and commented that I had a "very limited range of motion in that joint". I had to laugh to myself....me? the sporty type? The closest I ever got to sports was watching on the TV. All I ever did was stand on my feet @10 hours a day at work in Bruceton, then try to walk at least two miles at the park after work. Then after I quit Tiger-Mart I was spending most of my last few days in Bruceton packing up things at the trailor, and stressing over last minute wedding details, and doing the usual pre-moving details (i.e. disconnecting phone, cable and making sure all your mail gets transfered, and other things like that). Is life considered a sport? I think I let my own personal health take a back seat to working and making sure the bills were paid. Plus I had no health insurance at my job, so that was a major factor as well.
So to make a long story short....I have an appt. on the 19th to have an MRI of my foot and ankle done. Then on the 20th, I all ready have an appt. with Dr. Pereles (GYN), at 1:20, for the usual female stuff....., then at 3:30 that afternoon I'll be going back to Dr. West's office to see the results of the MRI and see what he says after that. Then on the 29th, I have another appt. with Dr. Bishop, this is the "no eating after 12pm the night before" appt. So I guess he's going to draw blood work, and see what my levels are and etc, he asked when was the last time I had a complete check-up/ physical....to which Gary's Dad quickly said......"it's been too long". So who knows I could be on a whole new set of medications after that.
Work is still work......I am still in the deli at Wal-Mart and some days it's all right and sometimes I find my mind wandering, wondering how long before I can get trained in a new department. the last night I was at work "Betty" made a comment that she could tell I had been back here--it was actually clean for a change. I am still on the 11am-8pm shift so i don't really feel the need to learn how to officially close the deli for the night unless my schedule changes. Gary said he wished I could get a different shift eventually....he misses not having me at home on the weekends when he's off work. He said it just wasn't right not having me at home.
We were talking one night, and I was telling him I would like to be on a different shift eventually as well. It had always been a "pipe dream" of mine to take some classes somewhere and get a better job than Wal-Mart. I just had no idea what I wanted to do/be when i grew up. After I had made supper one night....Gary was remarking how he thought it would be a wonderful idea if I enrolled in that cooking school here in Nashville-"The art institute-culinary program". He knows how much I enjoy watching the food network, trying out new recipes and how I am always into the kitchen kind of stuff. I can't do anything like that just now...with starting a new job and all. And having all my Dr. visits , I might have to get surgery because of my ankle, he did say I'd need some physical therapy during that last visit. Plus I need to work to get some money coming in to help pay off the medical bills. And if i changed my availability at work now..I'd get even less hours and that would mean less money for bills. Plus you'd have to consider the money involved for tuition, books, materials, gas to and from school and etc. We just can't afford it now. And is a profession like that going to be profitable in the future? The name of the game is" how much money do you make a year?" And the top $$$ amount wins. How much money you make a year determines how successful you are in today's world, and that makes me really sad. Write more later-hope everyone is doing well.