Ok so whatever....I haven't wrote anything in a long time.  Just got out of the habit. Seriously.   Job Wise: still working at Wal-Mart. No excitement there. In a different department-no longer in deli.    Gary has been out of school for a while. He was working for Domino's, school & work got to be too much to handle.  He was let go over a minor fender bender & that sent him into a deep depression.  After several months & so much stress for me, he finally gets a job at Pizza Hut.  That seems to be working out OK for him.  He's hoping to get back into school @ October with a new major in Nursing. He had a meeting with a new VA counselor and "she" told him the job market wasn't very strong in the current field he was pursuing.  (I could have told him that...you just have to be in the right place at the right time for that line of work) Anyway don't know how long he'll be in school THIS TIME. (all I see is more bills piling up)  A good part of me is really frustrated because I want him to be totally done with school so he can have somewhat regular hours and a bigger paycheck, and not so much on the road all the time.  (Speeding tickets are such a pain.)  Plus I want to try my turn at school. ( I am screaming this from inside.)  I really don't want to be working at Wal-Mart by the time I get to be a senior citizen.  Not sure of what I want to get into as of yet, but kinda leaning toward something in the medical field.  Cause that's where most of the jobs seem to be in the current state of the economy. 
  Beyond this for me health wise; my MS is doing all right for the time being.  Just mostly depressed cause of the current state I am in.  Too many bills, not enough money to pay them. Living paycheck to paycheck with no end in sight. Seems like the only few times i am happy is when I am away from Nashville and back home. 

yes, I'm still out here

Gary's in MTSU now & taking 4 summer classes. Before he starts the fall semester. He had an appt. with the VA offices in Nashville, and they will be paying for all his classes when he starts the in the fall. And hopefully in 2 years he will be a graduate of MTSU, with a degree in Audio Engineering. This is in a field he's always wanted to be in. And it was just like watching a kid in a candy store-watching his eyes light up during the tour of the facilities at the campus. So far he's made an "A" in all of his classes and has a perfect 4.0 for a grade point average. (and including all his classes from Lipscomb and UTM-he has a high "B" for a cumulative point average. ) We are looking into moving sometime in the future. Because the further along he gets into MTSU, he'll be spending more & more time on the campus and gas going back and forth would drain the bank account. I have a transfer request in at the Wal-mart store in Murfreesboro; but don't know when that will happen. Maybe whenever gary gets done with his school-maybe I can find something to get into with as much passion as he has for this field.
I got two Dr.'s appt on Wednesday. One at the eye Dr. & one at my primary care Dr. I got to make my usual list of questions I need to ask both of them. Then the next week I got an appt. with Dr. Efobi to get more blood work done. I got a call saying I had a low platelet count, so I was researching that on the internet. Symptoms of low platelet count include, bruising easily, auto-immune diseases (MS) "score two for me" . Wonder what I'll find out after this appt. Found out what my blood type is after all these years; "O+" . Gary is "O-" I thought it was kinda neat in a way cause i think my Mom & Dad and sister are all "O" type blood. But I can't give at the red cross cause Dr. Bishop said I was anemic. Write more later.

Gary

Gary is no longer with the Electrician's Union. It would take too long to explain here. He was let go from another job. He was on probation from the last time & apparently-him busting his butt and giving 200% or more wasn't enough. I just don't know what will be ahead for us.

work

I was at work Saturday afternoon. Day was going fair. Didn't expect much, I don't like to work closing shift all that much. I was right in the middle of waiting on a customer when I heard "Cynthia's" voice booming over the speaker. "Christy Nichols please dial ext. 172 or come to the ad office" I was still slicing some meat for this customer and my eyes got as wide as saucers, all the time wondering what did I do now. Going to the office is a 50/50 situation, either you did good or you did bad and you are being wrote up. I finish with the customer and I walk back to the ad office we=here Cynthia is there and she tells me that I have a performance review. She begins to read out word for word every category in my review, all the while I am looking over on the right hand side of the paper where I see every category "solid performance" and two "exceeds expectations". I kinda blocked her reading out, because I was still getting over the shock of being called to the office. She said she wanted to write "needs more confidence in herself" but there wasn't a category for that. So I got a raise which moves me up to $8.65 an hour, but that won't take effect until November 4th. Why the long wait for the new pay rate to go into effect? Why couldn't this start on the next day I was officially clocked in? I guess I'll have to do some secret investigating as to why this is done this way. I just didn't seem fair, but I guess I should be grateful for the raise in pay.
Another friend of mine at work called me last night on my lunch break and told me that he came in to work on Friday, then @ an hour later went back to personnel to pick up his paycheck..then just walked out! Didn't come back! Then he tells me that he had called out for a few days before this and ended up taking those as sick days. He has a new job working for Comcast and he loves it. From what he told me he's making way more than Wal-Mart could ever pay him. Then said "don't tell anybody where I'm at or that you talked to me." Why? What should he care? He got a better job-great for him! I just don't think he should have left Wal-Mart in the way he chose to do it. But that was his decision.....
Monday I have another appt. with Dr. Efobi . Gary's Dad was telling me of a conversation he had with a lady in Camden a few days ago. She also has MS but she goes to see a Dr. Moses at the Vanderbilt MS Clinic. Gary's Dad was all excited telling me about this Dr. Moses, and how this "Susan" was saying how this was a great Dr. I am happy with Dr. Efobi-I know she would welcome it if I went to go see another Dr. to see what his opinion is. I think what is foremost on my mind is having to pay for the visit because we are still making Cobra payments. So we would have to pay what the insurance would not cover, and we just don't have the $$$ for that now.
Gary finally got somewhere with the unemployment checks. For several weeks of trying to log on to the website & not being able to get thru to endless calls only to be either given a "we are too busy" message or an "office hours recording". He got a call from someone from the state via an e-mail I sent (to a family member that works for the state also). She took his information and instead of trying to file for all the back pay he was missing; which would involved a whole lot more paperwork and more waiting, he just filed for a retro of two weeks back pay and now can re-certify on the internet. That was an ease for my mind because I have been fretting over the money situation for a long time. But I won't be truely at ease until Gary is officially back into the apprenticeship program and is working and bringing home a paycheck every week. We need to catch up on the bills, I am still making payments on all my medical bills when I can, and regular household bills, & credit card bills--plus Christmas will be here before we know it.
We are going back home for a visit on Friday. I have a three day weekend from work and since it's mine and Jimmy's birthday...a trip back home is just the thing to make me happy. If nothing happens we plan to leave Friday morning sometime, then stay wherever we reserve a hotel room at for the weekend. I just got to get busy and make my "packing list"-like I always do so I don't forget anything for the trip.

rainy days

Rainy days and monday's always get me down. Even thou it is actually Friday..I still got to work today. It's only 10am-2pm, but still part of me wishes I didn't have to go. Just been really depressed lately. My job is just that-a job. nothing exciting. Gary is STILL out of work. Bills still coming in--more money keeps going out than what is coming in. I wished he help me out more around the apartment. Cleaning up after himself for starters. I feel like and indentured servant. Had to get a new air conditioning unit, ours died. Problem was we didn't know it until 2 days after of "being hotter inside than it was outside" days. It was still very hot outside, during those days-so we didn't put two and two together until our over $200.00 electric bill came in the mail. live and learn. Hope Gary will get another unemployment check in the mail-he got ONE after they approved the appeal, and now nothing. He claims every time he tries to get on the states website to file his weekly certification, that site is so slow it will give you a "sorry for the delay-please try again later" box when you are only a little bit into filling out your info. I don't think he's even tried to attempt it again. All I've seen him do with an enthusiastic fervor is play that damned WOW on-line. I hate that game. I find myself comparing him to my ex in so many ways. I know that's not a good thing to do. My ex did hurt me in so many ways, ways that I probably don't even know about at this time. Gary said he'd take care of me-but I don't think "this" qualifies. Can't wait until the next time we come home for a visit.....Can't wait until the next time we move back home/or closer to it for good.

haven't really blogged all that much in a long time....just haven't felt like it. So many bad things are going on for us, I want to scream! They say the economy is going to get better, or all ready starting to...but I'll believe it when it happens for us. Just depressed now and I know that's not good for me in my condition. I just want someone to blame. I get so many people telling me different things. I feel like I am not doing enough to make things better for us. Write more later.

So stressed out now

everything was going ok here in Nashville for the both of us, then to quote the old phrase...."when it rains, it pours"
I had gone to a dr's visit about the brace on my right foot. Girl behind the desk tells me that "we are showing no insurance on you", I was shocked because we were under the impression that we had enough "banked hours" from BCBS to get us thru the middle of July. Gary had been laid off for several weeks and if he didn't go back soon-we'd have to start making "cobra payments." I had to pay $100.00 deposit before even seeing the DR. So I am in the waiting room wondering what could be going on, when I get called back. Dr tells me that i'm not wearing the brace tight enough and proceeds to tighten it up then. I tell him I don't want to tie it too tight in the first because I am on my feet all day and I have to compensate for swelling. I didn't want to be feeling like I wanted to pay anyone to cut my foot off. My arms are weak anyway because of my MS and sometimes I can't tighten it like he thinks it should be. He then tells me that i can sleep in it for short naps, but not if I'm going to sleep for several hours/overnight. (when b4 he said not to sleep in it!) Then he tells me I do have arthritis in the joints of that foot. Before he said it was an "arthritic condition" and not arthritis....when & how did this change? I was also upset because of the Dr's attitude toward me thru the whole visit.
Gary told me he called our ins. company and even though he went back to work before June was out---whomever at the company placed it on the following month instead-because it was so close to the cut off point or their records. So all we had to do was mail a $10.00 check to their address in GA. and we'd be fine. Then i go to get my RX's refilled the next week and the girl at the Walgreens tells me that my ins. /RX cards are no good. Gary has to call the ins. company again and whomever didn't put the payment on the" right screen". So again we were screwed up. We had to wait until someone from the company called the Walgreens to say that the problem had been corrected and we had insurance. Then get my pills filled.
Then the next day Gary calls me on my way home from work to tell me he got fired form the construction job he was on at the airport. What he didn't know was his foreman had called the Union hall and complained about his work at least two weeks ago, and Gary didn't even know anything about it until he was leaving his class one night and the director of the apprentice program had pulled him aside to tell him about it.
What's going to happen next is Gary will have to go before this committee from the Union Hall and they will talk with him and they will have the deciding vote to keep him in or let him go. gary's dad made some phone calls and found out that he can't have anyone there to support his cause (former co-workers, former bosses etc.) This foreman said gary wasn't "performing the work in a timely manner", and this person also said that gary seemed to be "spaced out" at times.
So when Gary goes before the committee he has to watch what he says, acts, his body language/facial expressions, choose his answers carefully, etc. if he does get kicked out of the program, he has to wait @a month goes by before he can reapply to the program again. And he'll have to go thru a more extensive interview process because of what happened before. They either tell him, "yes you can get back in" or "no you can't". If he gets back in he has to ask for advanced placement to get credit for all the classes and exp. he's had before. If they don't approve that he has to start from square one ALL OVER AGAIN. Which would really ruin his self-esteem and pride. So he has been really upset over all of this and has had thoughts of wondering if I really want to continue this apprenticeship or not. He says he can handle the schoolwork and classes just fine-his biggest worry was the possibility of coming across someone that just didn't care for him one bit and would fire him to get rid of him. (aka the chicken way out, instead of just laying him off.) he told me he was at class one night was talking to another guy in his class about what happened and when the guy asked who his boss was...Gary says "Harry Spain", then his classmate said this "Spain" fellow had a reputation of "stabbing others in the back to get ahead". This classmate of Gary's had worked with him before and didn't care for him either. So this "Spain" fellow takes a dis-liking to Gary for whatever reason and stirs up all this. Gary is wondering if the "spacing out" comment could be related due to the heat stroke he had while he was in the army a long time ago. If you've ever known someone to suffered from a heat stroke-they can't be out in the sun for extended periods of time.
So now we are just waiting to see what will be the outcome of his meeting with the committee, then proceed from there. Meanwhile we don't know yet if he can get unemployment from this, have to file for "Cobra" insurance and see if we even get approved for that. How are we going to pay for that if Gary's not working? I have to wait until sometime in Aug. to see if I can get back any or all of that deposit i paid at the dr's that one day. And if we don't get approved for Cobra how are we going to afford all the meds. we take? And if gary does get back into the program, how long will it be before he goes to work anywhere-given the current situation of the economy? And we have more questions that are still remaining unanswered. We have talked about moving back home-if it gets to that-but we'd have to have jobs to go to and a place to live before that choice is made. But we'd be making trips to and from Nashville anyway because of the VA for his dr's , and the Dr's I see for my MS.
So anyway we are under a lot of stress, and need all the prayers and good thoughts/good luck wishes anyone can give us. I will fill you in later as things happen.